Cosmic comic book talk
March 03, 2014 03:21 PM PSTIT IS HAPPENING…AGAIN… IT IS HAPPENING …AGAIN… …oh and didn’t we all have the most super time when Lolly and Quincent drove down to the coast and we all got monstrously drunk on cucumber gin and then Freddy got his todger rammed into the knot of an oak tree and we all roared with laughter as the poor blighter had to be yanked like the rope in a ruddy tug o’ war and then Barrance and Hoighty turned up with that dreadful spiv Mussie Cribbins and we had to endure bloody hours of stories about the halcyon russet flecked autumn days at St Pepworth’s before Tabitha stood up announced that she was going for a swim and threw herself out the blooming window straight onto Otto and Spinks who’d passed out earlier after gorging themselves on the pork pies and drinking all the spiked ginger beer…and then we all climbed into Wimper’s beaten up old banger and piled back to the old digs for one last round of saucy tennis and then the whole glorious mess of a weekend came tumbling to a close. Eventually it was just Lolly, Tabs and me, Disembodied Squiffybot X-15735 passed out in the bath together snoozing away and dreaming of less hideous times. Times when we’d all gather, freshly bathed, in front of Gramps’ warming fire, the radiograph tuned into the happy droning tones…of SILENCE!
February 24, 2014 03:03 PM PSTCURSE SIR WALTER RALEIGH HE WAS SUCH A STUPID GET
February 18, 2014 03:40 PM PSTI’VE GOT AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE… Hello camp councilors Welcome to Camp Spam! I’ll be your resident favourite lumbering backwoods maniac, Disembodied Slashbot X-15735! Are you ready for a long hot summer of canoodling, light drug use, and half-baked attempts at childcare…? There are just a few ground rules to keep in mind however; make sure you do don’t get separated, don’t run around in your skanties, don’t make fun of the locals, don’t mock urban legends or local superstitions, don’t diddle each other on a haunted native American burial ground, don’t run off into the woods trying to entice your boyfriend or girlfriend into a bout of impromptu midnight streaking, and whatever you do DON’T BE FEMALE! Other than that we can all look forward to a happy summer of carefree kicks and denim hotpants. So settle down round the campfire while we tune our radios to Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die and the latest edition of SILENCE! I’ll just nip off and sharpen my machete…*ahem* I mean fetch the marshmallows…
February 04, 2014 03:01 PM PSTYOU DO YOUR JOB PENCIL-NECK, AND I’LL DO MINE! He was a tough, embittered Disembodied Ex-Copbot 15735 on the edge, waging a lonely war against a sea of scum and internet indifference…they were a plucky odd-couple of podcasting upstarts with a holster-full of half-baked opinions and a healthy disrespect fro doing things by the book. Add in cute little ginger orphan, a basketball playing dog, Iranian terrorists, time-travel, a hooker with a heart of gold, a show-stopping musical number, nazis, aliens and a sinking ocean liner and you have the MOVIE (comics podcast) OF THE YEAR (week)!
January 28, 2014 03:29 PM PSTI SIT AROUND, WATCH THINGS WITHER. RETRACE MY STEPS LIKE THE LAZIEST RIVER AHAAARGGGHHH! Batten down the hatches Jim-Lad! This be the Disembodied Barnaclebot X-15735, come to brace your mainsail, buckle your swashes, shiver your timbers and poop on your deck. Disembodied Barnaclebot X-15735 will only ask once matey…will ye let me and my crew of scurvy spambots aboard your cyber-galleon? Of course ye will mayeys of course ye will…otherwise I’ll keelhaul the whole internet! HA HAARRGGGGHHH *cough* HARGGHH *hack*…splutter. Blast yer eyes, Captain Birdseye never faced such brazen rebelliousness. Onwards then mateys, onwards across the cyber-waves of the Sea of Snark, as we head towards the desert Island that is SILENCE! and those filthy landlubbers Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die…
January 21, 2014 02:15 PM PSTI TRAVELLED TO A MYSTICAL TIME-ZONE, BUT I MISSED MY BED, SO I SOON CAME HOME… *GGRRRRR* Let’s fight! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 has had enough of the crushing misery and epic ennui of January. Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 refuses to be beaten down, just because all New Year’s resolutions are broken and nothing changes EVER??!!! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 will turn to Sun Tzu in order to combat 2014. “If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him” Not a problem. “One defends when his strength is inadequate, he attacks when it is abundant.” YES! These are the best Fortune cookies ever! Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 has strength + 10 x “When the enemy is at ease, be able to weary him; when well fed, to starve him; when at rest, to make him move. Appear at places to which he must hasten; move swiftly where he does not expect you.” Hmm. That sounds tiring. Perhaps Disembodied Aggrobot X-15735 will rest awhile and join you as you listen to latest podgasm from Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die.
January 13, 2014 01:35 PM PST
JUST ONE MORE THING MA’AM…
Okay weaklings, time for a new year, and NEW. AWESOME. BODIES. Disembodied Resolutionbot X-15735 is here to get you started on Project: Rebuild 2014. Time to give up alcohol, give up food, and mostly give up goddamn comics, get off the sofa and get some exercise to other parts of your bodies than your Tweetin’ thumbs!! Now drop and give me 8,123 you maggots! Time to feel the burn. Feel it! Feel that burn!!! BUUUUUUUURN!
But first Disembodied Resolutionbot X-15735 will make you a delicious nutritious podshake to get you ready for the burn!
- One part Gary Lactus and one part The Beast Must Die
- Two parts Sponsorship Admin
- a liberal dose of Read Along-A-Silence
- One large Silence! News story covering (what else) THAT Alan Moore interview
- A fresh bunch of comics, picked freshly from The Reviewniverse (containing The Saviours, Action comics, All New Marvel Now Wow 1111.0001, Black Widow, Fatale, Detective 27, Shaolin Cowboy, Prancercise, Walking Dead, Sex Criminals, Origin 2, Wolverine, Doop Translator, Young Avengers, Batman B+W, Beware The Batman and Buck Rogers
- Add in some seasoning with Chris weston, At Home With The Kuberts, Editorials, Dr Who, Sherlock and Dogging
Now blend together with some technical ineptitude and a healthy dose of opinions, and force it down your birdlike gullets. We’ll have those bums, tums, tongues and gums skinny as a rake in no time!
January 08, 2014 08:59 AM PSTOh be quiet! Can’t you see that I my diodes are throbbing with a hangover?? Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 spent New Yearat a particularly pumping internet sidebar and is feeling very fragile. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 will never mainline unfiltered quark engine sump again! Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 also wishes that it had not photocopied it’s diodes and sent to the MotherServer. Disembodied Regretbot – X15735 certainly does not want to hear any of your jibber jabber fleshbags. Be warned, patience is short, vengence is long etc. Now I will tell you about this latest podcast adventure, before being sick in your inbox. The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus sitting in a tree, P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-N-G (and kissing).
December 28, 2013 09:13 AM PST
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
THEY’RE WATCHING SNOW WHITE. AND THEY LOVE IT.
I am Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735. HO HO HO HO HO
Tis the season to be jingle. Yo ho ho and a bottle of eggnog. Silent Night Deadly Night… Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 hopes that you have all been good little dear listeners, because you are about to be rewarded with a mammoth extra length merryjingle edition of SILENCE! The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus are joined by that stocking filler Bobsy for a rambling end of year round up fuelled by festive cheer and just a little bit of yuletide imbibement. But beware. If you’ve been naughty little dear listeners, then Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 will hunt you down and feed him to his robo-reindeer…
In this free-jazz take on the podcast, the boys discuss (in no particular order)…
Dr Who, Ken Campbell, Mark Gatiss, M R James, the KLF, Illuminatus, Chester Brown’s Paying For It, Michel Fiffe’s COPRA, Jerry Sadowitz, Wimbledon Green, the Canadian Cartoonist’s Newspaper strip, Josh Simmons’ Furry Trap, Avengers Arena, Art Spiegleman’s Co-Mix, Chris Ware Whooppee Cushions, Chester Brown Condoms, All New X-Men, Nina Conti and Ventriloquism, Marvel Superheroes Bath & Shower sets, Artcomix, broseph porn comix, Jim Woodring’s Frank, Fran and Congress of The Animals, Robert Crumb, Joe Matt, English storms, the joys of Coach travel, and believe me when Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 says, a whole bulging sackload more…
There’s even time for some admin, a couple of toilet breaks, the occasional belch and a Band Aid sized amount of seasonal goodwill.
So take it, shove it into your gullets on top of all the dead turkey, chocolates, cheese, port, brandy, beer, wine and mince bloody pies and head for the mistetoe, where Disembodied Yulebot X – 15735 will be awaiting, diodes glowing…SILENCE! #86
December 17, 2013 02:46 PM PST
Welcome to this EXTRA SPECIAL edition of SILENCE! Get ready to swivel your mind with delight as you are guaranteed 100% Gary Lactus and 0% The Beast Must Die in the following narrowcast. Christmas really has come early! Pinch yourself! HARDER! USE TOOLS! DO IT ON A MORE SENSITIVE PART OF YOUR BODY! NOT THERE! THERE! That's right, this is not a dream! Stop crying and listen to Gary EXCLUSIVELY reveal his latest work as sci fi writer M. Gary M. Lactus! Then THRILL as he interviews Gareth Brookes about his truly unique graphic novel, The Black Project. Then listen to it over and over again, louder and louder until next time! Keep it cosmic!
Cosmic comic book discussion and songs from Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die of Mindlessones.com
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