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SILENCE! #246
Explicit
February 12, 2018 02:38 PM PST
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I’M GONNA MAKE YOU SICK. I’M GONNA MAKE YOU SICK OF ME. THEN I’M GONNA GIVE YOU THE ANTIDOTE

The year is 2099.
Jokesss! It’s 2 0 1 8 and we are 10 tears old, or maybe just six tears, the way man counts these things
It doesn’t matter. Here we fester yet. Dry your eyes because it’s SILENCE! #246 missus and Beast is having a break to look after the Mini-Beast or whatever so this week it’s a bobsy week where he and Gary get well comfy and COCKS OUT in the cosmic cupboard.
Clever blurb? Do one you poncey nonce
SO they start by letting Ole Aimless out of the bag (comicsgate and oh no no no, the 2000AD SciFi Special, the Big Sick + Trash for Cash Wednesday) and then handclasp it into the reviewniverse where they get busy with the books of the week:
IN roughly the order they were discussed, skipping fans: Twisted Romance, The Beautiful Death, Atlas & Axis, Grave Horticulture, VS, Wicked & Divine 1923, Batman: Metal, Batman: White Knight, MILK WARS, Doomsday Cock, The Amazing Fruit of the Future, JUstice League: Film
@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

SILENCE! #245
Explicit
January 31, 2018 06:30 AM PST
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NICHOLAS KNICKERLESS IN A NICKEL NECKLACE ON A RHINOSOROUSOUS

The year is 2099.

Blurbs have been outlawed by the totalitarian US government.

Luckily we’re not in America so it’s fine.

Welcome to another sodding episode of SILENCE! your heroes Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are here with their unique brand of jealousy inducing chat from their aspirational lives.

After we celebrate The Beast Must Die’s Birthday they discuss anxiety dreams which look like they might be coming true. There’s some chat about the now dead Mark E Smith which segues into a moving song about music called Music Song. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started this week actually has something to do with the nominal point of the podcast, comics as Beasty done watched The Image Revolution.

The Reviewniverse revels in Doom Patrol, Days Of Hate, BatMan: Creature Of The Night, more Atlas Comics, LIFE Brigade, Frank Miller’s Tales To Offend, Tainted, Dissonance, Valerian and the City Of A Thousand Planets, Vinegar Teeth, Legion, The Further Adventures of Nick Wilson, Assassinistas and Tales Designed to Thrizzle

That’ll do, surely.

SILENCE! #244
Explicit
January 16, 2018 01:12 AM PST
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BUT DON’T DESPAIR, THIS DAY WILL BE THEIR DAMNEDEST DAY Nah, nah. Nope. Nu-uh. No way. Noooooooo sirreeeee. Nup. No-ew. Nein, Not in the slightest. No thanks. Nup. Not feeling this blurb today. No. It’s a magical week boys and girls! A special week. A SILENCE! week! And Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here to build a city of comics for you to all live in. Look I’m not even going to mess around – this is some seriously digressive ish. I mean…do these boys really think that this is anyway to run a podcast? Oh well – once more unto the breach… Some cursory sponsorship, some in-depth discussion of Jamie Oliver and Sunday Brunch, and a bit of Dadmin. Then The Beast ushers in another ker-lassic episode of SILENCE!…Because the Film Has Started talking about Coherence, The Autopsy of Jane Doe and Kong of Skull Island. Dragging their heels, the sadsack pair find themselves in the snowy wastes of the Anti-Reviewniverse! Then normal service resumes and they hit the Reviewniverse. ‘Discussed’ are Sooner or Later, Deadline, Jamie Hewlett, Nick Abadzis’ Dream Logic, Skidmarks by Ilya, Tundra, Tales From The Hyperverse, Hastings, Mister Miracle, 2000AD Christmas special, and somehow more. Jeez that’ll do won’t it? @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #243
Explicit
January 04, 2018 03:52 AM PST
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BY THE TIME WE GOT TO OSLO, THE SNOW WAS GONE My New Year’s Resolution: 1) Write better blurbs Ok…let’s… Ok. No wait. Here we go…no. Wait. I GOT IT! It’s… No hold on. Ummm. Ok. Scrap that. Can I make a different resolution. My New Year’s Resolution (Take 2): 1) Quit this blurb-writing gig and get a real job. It’s a new day, it’s a new year, it’s a new life…and I’m feeling POD! It’s the first SILENCE! Of 2018 and it arrives wearing a top hat, spats and little else! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die bring you a timely festive edition to warm your coals. HO HO HO (sshhhhh). Seasonal sponsorship, Christmas admin and standard festive cheer? All here. Presents are compared and there’s some chat about Judge Dredd Complete Case Files v29, 2000AD Sci-Fi specials, Misty, The Gosh Comics 50% Sale, Ian Miller’s Swamp Thing and the wonderful Paperbacks From Hell.. Head to the Reviewniverse with your giddy hosts as they talk the light fantastic about The Leopard from Lime St, Klaus: The Crisis In Xmasville, Doom Patrol, Shade The Changing Girl, Parasdiso, Mister Miracle, X-Men: Grand Design, Jack Kirby’s 2001, Assassinistas and probably something I’ve forgotten. Yule be sorry! HA @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #242
Explicit
December 13, 2017 03:02 PM PST
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IF THERE’S A HELL BELOW, WE’RE ALL GONNA GO Whaddya looking at? What?? You write a blurb, I’m busy. I’ll blurb you mate. Go blurb yourself. What? What did you say? HOW DARE YOU! You can take your blurb and shove it right up your {REDACTED} “Okay bud, I think it’s probably time you clocked off. You been working this blurb shift for 36 hours solid. You put your time in. You’ve done us proud. But it’s time to go home bud.” No dammnit! No! I’ll get this blurb done if it’s the…just..just stop all a’them starin’ at me wouldya?? Just…make them stop… “Okay bud. Jacket on. It’s time to go.” What schedule? It’s SILENCE! pals and your week just got a whole heap better. So suck it in bucko. Dadmin, Admin, and the briefest of Sponsorships. It’s just how we do. That’s Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bee tee doubleyas. Tat-talk with some chat about Action comic – the banned UK thug kids comic, not that boring American institution SILENCE!…Because The Film Has Started with The Beast recommending Colossal. Finally…The Reviewniverse. Right here, right now. Or…then, When it was recorded. But now for you. But not now in the blurb because that’s now for me, but then for when you’re reading this. So…when? Anyway there’s very important chat about Doomsday Clock, Doom Patrol, Julia Scheele’s comics, The Beautiful Death, Dr Radar, Dork, The Grim Ghost, Lomax NYPD, Tiger Man and the rest of the Atlas fools. And more probably. WHO CAN REMEMBER? Get outta here! No more items for you, Christmas shopping to do. @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #241
Explicit
November 22, 2017 02:52 AM PST
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I HEAR WE HAD A GOOD TIME, I HEAR I WAS A RIOT. I WOULD’VE LIKED ME A LOT LAST NIGHT Forty years I been a blurb-writer y’know? My father before me was a blurb-writer and his father before him. And he started the blurb-writers union and all – every blurb-writer worth their salt still talks in hush tones about the blurb riots of 1933. Wouldn’t have the rights we do today without my grandfather and his mates. It’s in the blood is what I’m saying. If you cut me, do I not blurb. Heh. But it’s a dying art. It’s dead to be honest. Got these new machines that can write a blurb in half the time, and no chance of a spelling mistake or a missed deadline. Oh sure they don’t read the same, but when the bosses see those bottom line figures, you think they care? And the readers hardly notice, that’s the real kicker. In too much of a hurry to get to the content. Click the link, access the content. Content, content content. Well what about conTEXT is what I say? What’s the point. You probably aren’t even reading this anyway. Oh well. Sorry grandpa…I’m trying. I’m trying to do you proud. Once more unto the breach… HA! A new SILENCE! and it’s only been a week? What is this – a regular schedule or something?? Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die hold hands and do their merry aural dance for your ears only. Bit of Dadmin, some righteous Sponsorship, Gary’s Birthday and the Beast recounts his adventures in going VIRAL! Reviewniverse shenanigans ensue with talky-talks of Fence, the DC House of Horror special, Bob Godfrey, 2000AD, Indigo Prime, Revere, John Smith, Captain America, Generation Gone, Not Brand Echhh and more, dammnit so much more. Also features some live John Constantine-ing. I Reckymend features Paul Verhoeven’s brilliant Elle and the latest Adam Buxton Podcast. And that really is, my friends, the end. @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #240
Explicit
November 16, 2017 12:42 AM PST
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PUT YOUR HAND IN A PARTY WAVE, PASS AROUND 010110010010001000011000100010000100010000001001010100010 1011110010010010010101000100010101010101000111101010101010010 10010100100100100101000101010001010100011100100010100010100 1010100101001010011001010010100101011101010101010010000101010 (That’s computer-speak for ‘write your own blurb jerkbag’) It’s a big dollop of SILENCE! right up in your mush. So get used to that. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing it in the only way they know how: on all fours and begging to be put down. Sponsorship,Dadmin, and My Two Dadmin? Yart! Plus Bradley Walsh, Shane Ritchie and Nick Knowles. Comics!! Finally – finally – The Reviewniverse arrives in the pair’s wing-mirror. Remember though that objects are bigger than they appear… covered are Mister Miracle (Jack Kirby and Tom King’s), Brian Michael Bendis’ The Talky 10, Tank Girl, Kamandi Challenge and more more more Ach what more do you need you pack of jackals!!? @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! =239
Explicit
November 03, 2017 03:06 AM PDT
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WE’RE SORRY TO INFORM YOU, TONY ORLANDO HAS BEEN POSTPONED HHKHRrrrhhhHtttchhhhh…HHHHWWWWRAAALLLPPPSSH *kaff* Sorry. Had to clear that hairball. That’ll teach me to lick Lockjaw’s blanket. Hoo-hah! It’s only anuvver faakin’ SILENCE! innit bruv? With those two town gadaboouts Gary Lactus and the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Beast Must Die! Double barrelled. You are the quarry. Admin, admin, ‘oo wants admin? Featuring Dadmin, and Paul Reiser’s autobiography? Tales of Halloween, with The Beast Must Die and Lord Nuneaton Savage’s horror marathon. Featuring Rituals, Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight and The Comeback. SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started features Gary Lactus on Thor: Ragnarok and TBMD on Wonder Woman. Films mate. We shit ‘em. The Reviewniverse opens it’s greedy maw and welcomes the pair in to talk some honest to goodness comics. Including The Lakes Festival Spirit Special, Black Crown Quarterly, CUD: The comic, Mister Miracle, Philippa Rice’s Soppy and probably some other stuff as well. Only 5 items or less in this queue. @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #238
Explicit
October 25, 2017 06:31 AM PDT
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Hey Kids - Stop snogging and listen to me!

Silence is back! And it's smaller, longer and more claustrophobic than ever before! Welcome to The Temple of Lactus where the atoms of reality are comics and batman really is the god of my two fathers.

Cursing silver, Das Biest Muss Sterben drags his bloody pelt through the wilds of the black forest gateau and has NO TIME FOR PODCASTING, LOSERS. This means: homely, hirsute but dutiful farmer's daughter Bobsy is kidnapped from his cosy homestead and forced into the servitude of the Spacelord and his menagerie of wives (x1) sons (x1) and cats (x2).

They strip down to their essentials and get down to business. Their business is comic book reviews and business is in no particular order -

Magpie 1&2, Triskelion 5 - Kathryn Briggs
The Cleaner 4 - Fraser Geesin
Rok of the Reds 1-3 - Wagner, Grant and Cornwell
Reads 4 - Avery Hill Publishing
Berserker 1 - Breakdown Press
Battle Action Force - Major Black
Here come the beautiful people and Counting Stones - Douglas Noble
Prismatik Man 1 - Stathis Tsemberlidis
Stone Focus and Propagation of... - Lando
STEELBLADE 1 by Steven Steelblade
Into the Black by Benjy Goldsmith and Cicy Reay
Generation Gone 1-3 - Ales Kot and Andre Lima Araujo
What is Left - Rosmary V-O
Mr. Higgins Comes Home - Mike Mignola and Warwick Johnson-Cadwell
Kid Lobotomy - Peter Milligan and Tess Fowler

SILENCE! #237
Explicit
October 08, 2017 01:25 AM PDT
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MELON-RISING CALIFORNIA SUN, DRIFTING IN A DAY NOT YET BEGUN

SORRY! SO SORRY! We’ve neglected you dear listenoids, with our foolish ‘responsibilities’ to our families. Can you forgive us? Would you? Could you? Would you, could you, in a pod. Would you could you with a Furry Man and a Space God?

Well, we’re back in some fashion with the latest SILENCE! Your tired old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die return to the heartland to bring you their frazzled recollections of Thought Bubble 2018, the Leeds-based comics hootenanny. In doing so we mention Hitsville, Alex Automatic, Triskelion, Tom Eglington, Cindy & Biscuit: Sundays, The Cleaner Issue 4 and a bit more.

There’s also some My Two Dads. WHO LOVES YA BABIES?

Part 2 is the epochal era-defining planet-shattering SILENCE! TO ASTONISH live event from the aforementioned T-Bubz18. It’s a shambolic thrillride with lovely Al To Astonish, special guests John Allison, Kieron Gillen, Alan Moore, Geoff Johns and Stan Lee.

Dig in, hunker down, bug out, kick back, suck it down, pucker up and sit tight. It’s going to be…a time.

@silencepod

@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie
@bobsymindless
@kellykanayama
silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.
This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

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