Cosmic comic book talk
July 14, 2017 01:47 AM PDT“SOME LIKE IT SCOTT!” With The Family Beast still busy chewing on cigars with the big boys of Amazon “Optimus” Prime, mere minutes away from negotiating a deal that will see them broadcast into living rooms and pockets across the world, Gary Lactus is forced to do the one thing he didn’t want to do…. negotiate with the Skype-inept monsters of Mindless North for a second episode running. Despite the usual technical problems that occur when North and South try to get together – blame Nicola Sturgeon for nationalising Scottish Skype in a better reality! – Gary Lactus is joined by Illogical Volume and Mister Attack, their shirts wet with rain, their bellies full of macaroni and rage.
June 27, 2017 02:44 PM PDT“THE BEAST MUST OCH AYE MAIR LIKE IT!” With The Family Beast busy pitching a Netflix series to cash in on the ecstatic reactions to Mini-Beast’s debut vocal track, and Illogical Volume hunched over an inter-dimensional toilet seat with time to kill, today is the day where we get to find out whether SILENCE! can survive a sudden influx of vile Northern nationalism! It’s also the day where Illogical Volume gets himself banned from the nationalist dance party and for Dundee for mistakenly saying “Glaswegian” when he means “Scottish”, but no one ever said access to the Reviewniverse came cheap!
June 23, 2017 12:02 AM PDTI AM ALWAYS HIGH, I AM ALWAYS LOW, THERE IS ALWAYS CHANGE ‘Oo told you to come and see me then? Eric the Mouth was it? Bloody chancer that Eric, always sendin’ hopeless my cases my way. Finkin’ I got the time to sort out every knoc-kneed tosspot ‘oo comes blinkin’ into my lock up. Oh yeah, course I got a lot of quality gear in this place, all sorts. Got everything you might want actually. Course there’s a price though in there? What kind of businessman would I be if I din’t ask for a proper price? So you seen what you need ave ya…? Yeah, thought you might’a done. No, no, you put yer wallet away. Don’t want cash for what I’m sellin’, no no. I want something a bit more precious. Bit more valuable. If you get my drift?
June 13, 2017 01:55 PM PDT
GUEST BLURB WRITTEN BY OUR FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENT
My name is Gary. I am twelve years old. I live in Brighton. I have two cats. I like pop music but I love rock music. I live in a house. I hate classical music. At the weekend I play table football with my friend Jean Pierre. I enjoy swimming in the swimming pool. In my bedroom I have posters of pop musicians. I like reading comics.
SILENCE! #228 is a right old state on a plate, mate as Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die reconvene with reports on the new Pat Mills novel, Serial Killers plus ICE Brighton and MCM London, (they’re no Thought Bubble).
Then it’s time for some Sadmin as the chaps Bat-bid a fond Bat-farewell to Adam West.
There’s only one place to go from there and that’s The Reviewniverse where Bulletproof Coffin: 1000 Yard Stare, Doctor Strange, Divided States Of Hysteria, Rocket and Extremity with a couple of brief thoughts on All New Guardians Of The Galaxy, Saga and Kaijumax
You can support us using Patreon if you like.SILENCE! #228
May 29, 2017 02:28 PM PDTI DREAMED A DREAM OF TIMES GONE BY Welcome back to the SILENCE! Got Talent semi final. Here’s a reminder of the acts you’re voting for tonight: To vote for Lenny Menus and his mind reading dinners phone 0345791 Or for Jurgen Klart and his turd flinging chimps ring 0345792 To see the big, ugly one who’s alright at singing go through to the final call 0345793 If you want abattoir worker Cherry Bristols and her speed slaughtering act perform for The Queen text 0345794
May 26, 2017 07:22 AM PDTYOU ARE COMING DOWN WITH ME, HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND At the end of the day, when the lonely trumpet sounds its mournful note, and you’re finally called to account for yourself; when you’re making the case that yes, damnnit, yes I did deserve to be here; that all the mindless consumption and waste, the hours spent idling, all the petty thoughts, insecurities and jealousies, all of it could be justified because didn’t we just create the greatest, the finest, the absolute zenith of podcasts? Didn’t we do that? And doesn’t that make it okay? All the tears, the loneliness and the broken dreams…it makes it okay doesn’t it? Well doesn’t it? HA HA HA!! It’s time for SILENCE!
May 18, 2017 06:20 AM PDT
***Visit this post on Mindlessones.com for pictures and links pertaining to the stuff talked about in this podcast.***
NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO, NO NOT ME
Well, this was a lot of fun. On May 11th 2017, Gary Lactus, The Beast Must Die and Lord Nuneaton Savage sat atop the Bishop’s Finger with a the finest fellows a bunch of pod bods could ever hope for.
Small Press was the theme of the evening but first we started off with Tam Laniado leading a tribute to the recently rest-in-peaced Leo Baxendale.
Proceedings proceeded with some rambling chat which covered such small press obscurities as Bum Child by Tim Leopard, OHM by an odd chap that John Bishop met at a convention many years ago, Fast Fiction, Meow by Cyriak and L.I.F.E. Brigade by the delusional genius C. A. Stormon. There was also talk of Viz and the indestructible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
After a pleasant refill we decided it would be sensible to talk to the creators present. This meant John Riordan going on about Hitsville UK, Douglas Noble waffling on about Strip For Me and Gareth Hopkins guffing about Intercorstal. Luckily there’s some top top chat about daytime TV wine experts to liven things up.
After a lovely singalong we turned off the recording devices and indulged in social activities which shall go unrecorded and spoken of in hushed tones as the years passed thus turning all present for this wonderful evening into legends.SILENCE! #225
May 17, 2017 01:57 AM PDTTHE MASTER HEALED MY WOUNDS… AND SHOWERED ME WITH FOOD DID YOU KNOW there’s a word in German for the weight gained whilst overeating because of emotional distress? Amazing! DID YOU KNOW there’s a German word for the witty come backs you think of later? Yeah, it’s true! DID YOU KNOW the Germans have a word to describe the a longing for far off places? Our German cousins, eh? DID YOU KNOW that in Germany they have a word for the conversations English speakers have about how Germans have words that describe really specific things? DID YOU KNOW sharks can smell London from space?
May 08, 2017 02:11 PM PDTNO TRESPASS BY ORDER, BY DRUNKEN DISORDER MORE LIKELY OLD PRICK When you dine at the devil’s table you better make sure you bring your own cutlery. Also bring your own napkin. Some sort of hand santitizer wouldn’t go amiss either. Basically, everyone knows the Devil’s a bit of a prick so take precautions. This should all really go without saying. The real question is why are you dining at the Devil’s table in the first place? Obviously you’re better off not dining at the Devil’s table. Tell you what, if you’re dining at the Devil’s table you deserve everything coming to you (unless you’re buttering him up for a reduced membership fee at the Devil’s Gym with its Olympic sized swimming pool that isn’t full of school kids and old people taking up too much lane space with an impossibly slow breast stroke. It’s a great gym.) Gary Lactus and Bobsy are creeping up the creaky wooden stairs in the old haunted house that is your ear mind, hoping not to knock anything over and disturb the SILENCE! #224.
May 05, 2017 12:38 AM PDTTHERE'S A MESSAGE TO YOUR MOVEMENTS THAT REALLY GETS MY GOAT Look, don't stare at me like that. I don't have a blurb for you ok? I mean it, stop making those sad eyes at me! I ran out of blurbs ages ago and I'm sure as sugar not going to just rustle up something right here and now! I'm not some johnny-come-blurbly! If I choose to do another blurb it'll be on my terms. I will not be strong-armed or emotionally blackmailed. My blurb, my rules!
Cosmic comic book discussion and songs from Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die of Mindlessones.com
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