Cosmic comic book talk
December 10, 2018 07:02 AM PST
Comics? Do they still make those? Why?! Can a comic get you from A to B without having to rub up against the scum on public transport? Can a comic beep increasingly faster as you reverse towards a stationary object? Can a comic cruise down the open road as you listen to some quality tunes (or Magic FM, what’s the difference?)? Can you make love to a beautiful/willing woman in the backseat of a comic? Tell you what, if you can convince me that a comic will somehow get all the bloody cyclists off my roads then I might be interested! Until then the only way I’d ever possibly be interested in a comic is if it was filling some of the pot holes on our roads these days what on earth do I pay my road tax for you could’t make it up!
Here’s SILENCE! #459. I, Gary Lactus have passed my driving test and spend much of this episode burning rubber in The Beast Must Die’s stupid, carless face! Once the dust settles there’s some prolonged pre-comics chat about Mandy, Deconstructed with Mehdi Hassan and some other stuff I can’t remember because I wasn’t listening, I was too busy browsing driving gloves online.
Then there’s the Reviewniverse in which there are reviews, passing mentions or something inbetweens of The Green Lantern, Shuri, Fantastic Four, Jeff Hawke, Go-Bots, Titan Editions in general including James Bond and a very special review of Darren Cullen’s Mini Daily Mail (find out more HERE)
You can support us using Patreon if you like.SILENCE! #258
November 15, 2018 12:49 PM PSTI’VE BECOME A GIANT, I FILL EVERY STREET y’know yer my besssht pal, y’know? I love you mate, I rilly rilly…love you. Yer a real pal. Besht mates. Thass what we are. Besh..besht. I know, I know I’ve had few…a few beersh but..iss still true, yknow? Me ‘n’ you…we’ve bin through a lot y’know? But we’re shtill..besht…besht,.. *HWWWRRARRRRRAAAAAALLLPPH* Ohhh…ohh. shorry man….shorry about yer…yer shoes… So whaddya shay pal? Can you help out an old out-of-work…hic…blurb writer?
October 30, 2018 09:16 AM PDTTHIS SKILLED TRADE LIKE A TAILOR-MADE SUEDE, HIT THE STUDIO AND I’M PAID Is there anybody there…? If you’re there, speak now. Or…let us know you can hear us. Just a sound. Any sound. To let us know. There are loved ones here who want to speak to you… THERE! DID YOU HEAR THAT? Words! Words, coming through the ether…forming…what is it that you are trying to tell us..? Wait. I don’t understand…Item? Are yo trying to say item..?
October 11, 2018 02:35 AM PDTYOU’RE GONNA BE REMEMBERED FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU SAY AND DO If you only knew the existential dread with which I approach the writing of these blurbs. The loaded Colt 45 is sat on the table in front of me. Could this be the week? Come on. It’s easy. Just … just write something witty. Or pithy. Or surreal. Cold, dead lump of metal in my hand. It’s easy. Just write it. Find that concept. Something to hang your hat on. Something. Just. Write. Squeezing the trigger now. Just that sprung lever gently…gently… Oh wait! I’ve got it! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…
September 14, 2018 04:28 AM PDT
One blurb, fully composed, grammatically perfect.
Essential: Pithy, original tone, mentions of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, SILENCE!, the Reviewniverse, admin and comics.
Desirable: Arch, conceptual structure, subversive punchline, Swiftian satire, gentle ribbing of beloved genre tropes.
(Please include mention of the following in your blurb: Thought Bubble 2018, Silence To Astonish Live, Crowded, Aliens: Labyrinth, West Coast Avengers, Tale of One Bad Rat, Tangent Comics: Tales of the Green Lantern, The New World, The Vigilant.
Please also include the phrase ‘much, much more’)
Please contact Silence at gmail.com with proposed blurbs. A shiny gold star is your reward.
You can support us using Patreon if you like.SILENCE! #254
August 14, 2018 04:14 AM PDTJONATHAN IT’S LATE. DON’T YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD GO? Hello…? Is there anyone receiving this signal? We seem to have become unshackled from time and space…we no longer no where we are, where we should be or where we are. We are unmoored, adrift. Time looks like an inside out rubiks cube. I can see your beginning and my end, and they are. The. Same. Thing. Help us. Something has happened. We’re sending this….this podcast out there into the no-space to try and cast an anchor on a point in time, any time to try and get home. Please. This is a message. A message. In a bottle. Is anyone there? Or is it just… silence.
June 26, 2018 03:15 AM PDTAh, podcasting. The oldest profession. Since the dawn of time began throughout history it has been podcasters who have kept us warm and fed our children. In some ancient cultures podcasters were revered, even worshipped as living gods. Of course today the podcaster occupies the lowest tier of respectability alongside estate agents, prostitutes and Piers Morgan but where would we be without them? Surely dead. This issue Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die manage to fit in some time for you, generously allowing you to listen in on them talking about Small Press Day, the Kinder Egg scandal that no one is talking about and the collector gene. Then it's off to Outpost Reviewniverse for Dice Man Comic, Proxima Centauri, Slasher, Mister Miracle, Bloodstrike Brutalists, By Night, Oblivion Song, Neil Gaiman's Helblazer, Sandman, Howard Chaykin's The Shadow, Chester Brown's Little Man and The Weather Man Finally there's some Rekkymend from Gary Lactus of Liam Williams's Pls Like and The Beast Must Die has seen Black Panther. You're welcome. SILENCE! #252
June 13, 2018 08:19 AM PDT
The first person to listen to this podcast, write a full blurb and show notes and send them to silencepodcast at gmail dot com will win FIVE GREAT BRITISH POUNDS in their paypal account.
EDIT! We have a winner! Thanks, Glenn Jacobs!
I don’t really know how to write a blurb in the inimitable SILENCE! house style so I’m going to forfeit my cash prize and just submit you some show notes instead. Hope these help. cheerio-bye.
9 00 The Prisoner by writer Peter Milligan and artist Colin Lorimer.
12 20 The Hellblazer #22 by Writter Tim Seeley and artist Davidé Fabbri.
13 55 The Hellblazer #1 by writer Jamie Delano and artist John Ridgway.
17 00 Transformers Collected Comics #3 by writer Steve Parkhouse and artist John Ridgway.
25 10 Fraser Geesin Is A Lot Of Help live clip. *EDIT* This is actually a clip of Gary Lactus years ago when he was in a band and the singer didn’t turn up so he ended up talking over some synths.
26 55 The Toys That Made Us (TV Series 2017).
35 50 A Walk Through Hell #1 by writer Garth Ennis and artist Goran Sudžuka.
39 00 Flayed Corpse and Other Stories by Josh Simmons.
44 30 Doom Patrol by writer Gerard Way and artist Nick Derington.
44 50 A duck.
48 40 Audience with Charles Forsman at Gosh Comics.SILENCE! #251
May 14, 2018 03:43 AM PDT
THE FLOOR’S AN OCEAN AND THIS WAVE IS BREAKING
This podcast was completed three days ago and do you know what held it up? Writing this bloody blurb! Please submit your blurbs for future use via email so this sort of thing need never happen again.
It looks like SILENCE!#250 ushered in a bold new age for the pod pals as they once again piece together an episode at free moments in their very busy, extremely important lives. There was chat about The Fourth Of May With You, the burgeoning Evil Of The Minibeast, Bob Mortimer and Maria Bamford’s recent podcast appearances and the forthcoming shows by Fraser Geesin, Matt Banks and Dunce Tank. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started brings Avengers: Affinity Friends and Brawl in Cell Block 99.
Then from Outpost Reviewniverse we have The Prisoner, Legionnaires and Tales Designed To Thrizzle as read to Little Barry Lactus. The Free Comic Book Day offerings of James Bond, Tank Girl, Street Angel’s Dog, 2000AD Re-Gene, World’s Greatest Cartoonists and DC Nation. Finally, Batman, The Avengers, Eternity Girl and The One. Probably something else too but I’ve had it with writing this stupid blurb, time to set this pod free and watch it soar freely into the ears of our three or four listeners.SILENCE! #250
April 25, 2018 07:25 AM PDT
YOU KNOW THEY DON’T GIVE A F*CK ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE
Well, it’s a right ruddy great anniversary for the SILENCE! boys innit? 250 years of podcasting! Not only that but they invented podcasting. And the internet – they invented that too. Did I mention listening? Yeah, they invented that. Invented the bloody lot they did. 250 years ago.
So why not join those two gentlemen, hellbent for leisure, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they invite you into the inner sanctum for some verite, fly-on-the-wall, dogme 95-style podcasting. Ot’s a 2.5 hr epic that will test your patience to the very hilt! And they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Talked about are Marvel 2-in-1. The Immortal Men, Captain America 700, Legion, Xerxes, Oblivion Song, Eternity Girl, Megahex, Lockjaw, Walking Dead, Wonderful World of Tank Girl, Punk’s Not Dead, Tap-dance Killer, Action Comics 1000, and Highest House. All recorded in majestic ‘SIGHT ‘N” SMELL-ORAMA’!
AND PLUS The Beast and speshul gest-schtar Bobsy have a good old chinwag about Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
So checkitowtonetimewon’tyou?? And raise a glass to 250 glorious more years of the world’s premier lifestyle podcast…
You can support us using Patreon if you like.
Cosmic comic book discussion and songs from Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die of Mindlessones.com
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