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May 06, 2020 01:56 PM PDT
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I FORGOT IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN SLOW DIAGONAL I FORGOT I FORGOT Take that bit there, the thin bit… that’s righ, Now pull it towards you whilst twisting it. NO! ANTI-CLOCKWISE! Sorry, didn’t mean to shout but you could have blown us all up there… okay, now take the round thing and clip it onto the end using the square thing. That’s it, you’ve got a blurb! Hey! Do you have a mind? Well not for long because Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are going to blow it with another issue of SILENCE! Just how are they going to do that? With a series of items of course! Some initial chat to lull you into a false sense of security. “How are you?” “I’m fine.” That sort of thing. BANG! The thing you least expected! Gary Lactus has watched a film and tells you about it in an explosive SILENCE! (Because the Film’s Started). The film he’s seen is The Illumination of Jim Woodring. With a head still swimming, the boys stamp on what’s left of your brains by holding your head down the Reviewniverse then flushing Rogue Trooper: Cinnabar, Thriller, Love and Rockets and Jason Shiga’s Meanwhile all over it. A polite wind-up chat to bring you to your senses. “Any plans for the weekend?” “No.” That sort of thing. Dare you listen?
SILENCE! #278 The Introduction Special
April 23, 2020 10:40 AM PDT
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In the beginning there was the word. Prior to that there was the introduction. Since the dawn of time immemorial began throughout history, the introduction has introduced readers to stories that have introduced us to the power of stories. What dark truths lie in the stories we tell our children? Powerful, dark truths that’s what. Hadn’t thought about that had you? You’re welcome.

Neil Gaiman
East Grinstead
April 1988

It is my pleasure and honour to introduce this podcast by my good friend The Beast Must Die. When I was introduced to The Beast Must Die as a schoolboy, little did I know that 30 years later I would be introducing his Magnum opus. This podcast will introduce the lister to The Beast’s unique relationship to introductions, covering curated TV broadcasts of films such as Alex Cox‘s introductions to Movie Drome and what introductions meant to him as a youngster reading graphic novels for the first time. He goes on to cover Alan Moore‘s introduction to The Dark Knight Returns, Pat Mills‘ introduction to the Titan edition of Nemesis Book 7 by Mills himself and John Hicklenton, Zenith Book 2 introduced by Grant Morrison, Frank Miller‘s introduction to Batman Year One, Morrison’s introduction to Peter Milligan and Duncan Fegredo’s Enigma and Milligan’s introduction to Morrison’s Invisibles.
Oh yes, and Neil Gaiman‘s dominance in the world of introductions. So, without further ado, I invite you to “hey listen” to the master scholar of all that comes before everything.

Gary Lactus
North Portslade
April 2020

April 18, 2020 08:14 AM PDT
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HOLY HECK! WHAT THE FUN IS THAT?! PARDON MY FRENCH BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUN IS THAT?! THERE! UP THERE! LOOK!! IT’S DOWN THERE TOO! IT’S… IT’S… BLURB!!!! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are back together, just like the good old days, talking over Skype, drinking beer, and being total legends forever cruising down the highway until they crash into the Sun and the sky explodes! Talking! Covid 19, crumpets, Closed comic shops, the collapse of television, lunch and dinner and The Beast has seen the sci-fi horror, Await Further Instructions. Come with us to Reviewniverse and hear tell of Steed and Mrs. Peel, Modesty Blaise, Punisher: Soviet, Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters, Jimmy Olsen, Ilya’s second collection of his End Of The World Club strips, Timewarp and a whole lotta diverging chat about revisionism, the death of Gary Lactus and bladders. The end of the episode Hey listen!
April 10, 2020 01:02 PM PDT
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Hello there. This issue of SILENCE! has been put together from conversations between Gary Lactus and The Dear Listener. Normal SILENCE! service shall return soon.


Little Kieron Gillen is off school and talks The Ludocrats and Asterix with the recent passing of Albert Uderzo. He also bigs up Pulp by Brubaker and Phillips before getting on with his homework.

Spare 5 tells Gary about life at home right now where he’s found time to get round to reading Uzumaki and watching Galaxy Quest.

John Bishop tackles the topics of the sickness of collecting, his new dog, Ryan Brown and Blast Furnace.

Illogical Volume fulfills a diversity quota with his Scottishness. He tells Gary about The Drifting Classroom the newly colourised From Hell and Gary tells him about Billionaire Island and there’s speculation about our post-virus world.

Zom is our final caller even though he lives close enough to Gary’s spaceship in space to shout. He’s done a right good read of David Boring so the pals talk about Daniel Clowes and ponder what sort of Batman they are.

The end. Now wash your hands. Seriously, wash your hands.

March 10, 2020 07:34 AM PDT
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ALL HAS BEEN FORGOTTEN AND THE PLASTIC TURNS TO ROTTEN RAYS AND SMELLS Look, long story short, I had this dog that fed on anger. I got into an argument with a mate and it was too much for the dog and it exploded a red mist which covered the city, making everyone furious. The more angry everyone got, the more the red mist grew. Eventually the world burned, everything collapsed, billions died and now I’ve got a cat that eats guilt. So that’s why I didn’t write a blurb. Welcome to our special foil-embossed anniversary issue! To celebrate we have more interruptions that any SILENCE! ever! There’s some prime preambling here with talk of Marvel Comics The Untold Story and Steve Gerber. There’s some great Ash Wednesday chat and we say absolutely nothing new about Dan Didio. Oh, and we go on about whether there’s any point in comics continuity. We enter The Reviewniverse where The End Of The Century Club, Sandman, Elektra Lives Again, Silver Surfer: Black, Deadline and Protector are all covered alongside the usual digressions. @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like. https://www.patreon.com/SILENCE
February 13, 2020 11:12 AM PST
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AND THEY’RE WONDERING WHY WE CAN’T CONNECT WITH THE RITUAL OF THE TRASHED GUITAR You can earn money from home! Blurb writers urgently required to fill space at top of podcast post. Competetive rates. No real talent or wit required! Hurry hurry hurry! S…S…S…SILENCE! (turn and face the strange). Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you another hot shot pod rocket from out of their undercrackers and into your earholes. Look, there’s probably some rambling nonsense and sponsorhip and admin at the start. I can’t remember though. You have a listen and tell me about it in the comments. Into the glacial embrace of the , with the gasbags gasbagging about House of the Black Spot, Jamie Delano’s Animal Man, Baby by Philippa Rice, The Man Who F#@cked up Time, Chosen: the New Messiah, Eightball #23 (Death Ray) and probably more, maybe less?? I have a hangover. Go away. @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
January 23, 2020 08:42 AM PST
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EVERYBODY INHERIT THE EARTH? WHY NOT? What was the name of that guy..? You know, that guy with the…with the …you know all the words. That guy. Real talkative type. A regular wordsmith…what was his name? Chatterbox, he was. Flapping those gums all the time. Oh, what was his name?? It’s on the tip of my tongue. Bob? Bill? No….Blair? It was Blair I think. No, that’s not it… BLURB!! THAT’S IT! BLURB! Yeah. Hate that guy. Explode into action! It’s 2020! New SILENCE! New DANGER! Old Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die! Oof. Bit of chat, bit of admin, bit of Sponsorship – Get down to the GOSH Comics sale which finished on 12th Jan! And a reckymendation for the Gossipmongers podcast. Into the Reviewniverse with both feet! SPLOSH! Let’s chew the fat about Olympia, Milk & Cheese, Punisher: Soviet, Sandman Mystery Theatre, Pink Lemonade Holiday Grab Bag, Pirate Corp$, The Spectre, Sludge, Destroyer Duck and lot more you sexy sexpots. Gary Lactus’ Best of The Decade! SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started! and The Beast watched the recent Hellboy reboot and some of Shazam! Superheroes – they’re the great new fad that the kids can’t stop talking about! THAT’LL DO PIGS @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
December 24, 2019 04:17 AM PST
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Here’s your Christmas stocking and your presents. We’re not going to tell you what’s in them, that would ruin the surprise. Hope you like it, we’ve thrown the receipts away so you can’t take them back to the 24 hour garage.

November 17, 2019 11:44 PM PST
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AND EVERYONE IS A CLEVER CLONE, A CHROME COVERED CLONE AM I Q: Didn’t we have a luvverly time the day we went to T-Bubz?? A: Short answer = yes. Long answer contained in the podcast below. It’s only the flippin’ annual SILENCE! Thought Bubble run-down! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die recount their TB 2019 experience and culinary escapades. They brag about fancy hotels and talk up their swag and encounters from the festival, including meeting John Wagner, Alan Martin, Atom Tan, Alex Automatic, House of Sweets, Trencher Xmas Special, Douglas Noble, Hitsville, Mindless Ones, breakfast, rain, the Poshness of Harrogate, Milligan & Dayglo’s Counterfeit Girl and more. It’s the prestige-quality, extra-special SILENCE! TO ASTONISH LIVE spectacular spectacle, with consumate co-host Al to Astonish, lovely guests Emma Viecelli, Gerry Duggan, Ram V and John Allison and the usual self-indlugence. Plus special magickal guestz…oooooohh! @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
October 04, 2019 04:40 AM PDT
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THE MECHANICS OF LONELY ARE LIKE PARALLEL PARKING There’s a great blurb here. You just have to stare at the dot below for a while. Keep staring. Keep staring. Now blink your eyes quickly. There – you see it? . Look you know what the deal is. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die yackety-schmackety comics blah-di-blah sponsorship yadda yadda kids…SILENCE! Somewhere in this bloated podcorpse you will find: God blessing sex, Nugget, Speed walkers, Hitsville, Reviewniverse , Jimmy Olson, Philippa Rice , Sister BFFs, My Cardboard Life , Legends of the Dark Knight, Color Me Badddddd, Steeple, New Mutants, Shadow Strikes , House/Powers of X, Spider-Man , Green Lantern , Inferior 5, Great Snickers Crossover , I, Kunt, Wild and Crazy Guys, Bottomless Lactus and more more more YOU DO THE MATH! @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.

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