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SILENCE! #256
Explicit
October 11, 2018 02:35 AM PDT
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YOU’RE GONNA BE REMEMBERED FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU SAY AND DO If you only knew the existential dread with which I approach the writing of these blurbs. The loaded Colt 45 is sat on the table in front of me. Could this be the week? Come on. It’s easy. Just … just write something witty. Or pithy. Or surreal. Cold, dead lump of metal in my hand. It’s easy. Just write it. Find that concept. Something to hang your hat on. Something. Just. Write. Squeezing the trigger now. Just that sprung lever gently…gently… Oh wait! I’ve got it! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Welcome to the latest weekly edition of the internet’s most regular podcast, SILENCE! The podcast equivalent of All-Bran we are! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, ah-coming on like a seventh sense! God knows – look this bastard was recorded across different times, locations and dimensions. It’s got everything in it and nothing. All life is contained here. The answer to the ultimate question could be in here. What’s definitely in here though is… Neighbours, Gary Lactus experiments with being right wing, TBMD explains comics gate to stupid old Gary Lactus, Redundant chat about the upcoming Thought Bubble which has by this point been and gone, Komisk, Sticky Ribs, The Beast has seen Infinity War, Gary and Little Barry Lactus on the park with a little bit of talk about Fantastic Four #2 and The March Hare, TBMD talking Knights of Pendragon, Recording of Ben Mitchell talking about The Storm Cloud Story from Thought Bubble, Silence To Astonish! with guests John McRea, Sam Humphries, Matthew Rosenberg and Babs Tarr, Post Tbubz chat, Doctor Who, Comedy and Errors written by Nick Bryan, Dead Rabbit and on and on and on. @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like
SILENCE! #255
Explicit
September 14, 2018 04:28 AM PDT
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WANTED:

One blurb, fully composed, grammatically perfect.

Essential: Pithy, original tone, mentions of Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die, SILENCE!, the Reviewniverse, admin and comics.

Desirable: Arch, conceptual structure, subversive punchline, Swiftian satire, gentle ribbing of beloved genre tropes.

(Please include mention of the following in your blurb: Thought Bubble 2018, Silence To Astonish Live, Crowded, Aliens: Labyrinth, West Coast Avengers, Tale of One Bad Rat, Tangent Comics: Tales of the Green Lantern, The New World, The Vigilant.

Please also include the phrase ‘much, much more’)

Needed: ASAP.

Please contact Silence at gmail.com with proposed blurbs. A shiny gold star is your reward.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

SILENCE! #254
Explicit
August 14, 2018 04:14 AM PDT
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JONATHAN IT’S LATE. DON’T YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD GO? Hello…? Is there anyone receiving this signal? We seem to have become unshackled from time and space…we no longer no where we are, where we should be or where we are. We are unmoored, adrift. Time looks like an inside out rubiks cube. I can see your beginning and my end, and they are. The. Same. Thing. Help us. Something has happened. We’re sending this….this podcast out there into the no-space to try and cast an anchor on a point in time, any time to try and get home. Please. This is a message. A message. In a bottle. Is anyone there? Or is it just… silence. Whelp, we’re back and we’ve even changed our scanties. Motherbox would be proud. It’s time for a brand new encounter with Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you the world’s most regular podcast, SILENCE! So much to say, so much to do. Sponsorship, admin – all present and correct SAH! There’s probably some other nonsense in here too, but I certainly won’t be listening to the pdcast to find out! The yawning maw of the Reviewniverse is prosed open by the plucky pair, and inside is lurking … COMICS, just the way you ordered them – out of date, stale and irrelevant! DIscussed are League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Tempest, 2000AD Sci-Fi special, Captain America, Marvel Rising, Jemm Son of Saturn, Vertigo Pop: Tokyo, Squirrel Girl & Ms Marvel, New Lieutenents of Metal, Oblivion Song, Die Die Die!, Mick Garris as the Zelig of Horror, Terminator: Secondary Objectives and Terminator: Enemy Within. Phew! Time for a couple of I Recky-mends and then it’s tearful, cheerful, fearful goodbyes! Lap it up you suckers! @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #253
Explicit
June 26, 2018 03:15 AM PDT
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Ah, podcasting. The oldest profession. Since the dawn of time began throughout history it has been podcasters who have kept us warm and fed our children. In some ancient cultures podcasters were revered, even worshipped as living gods. Of course today the podcaster occupies the lowest tier of respectability alongside estate agents, prostitutes and Piers Morgan but where would we be without them? Surely dead. This issue Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die manage to fit in some time for you, generously allowing you to listen in on them talking about Small Press Day, the Kinder Egg scandal that no one is talking about and the collector gene. Then it's off to Outpost Reviewniverse for Dice Man Comic, Proxima Centauri, Slasher, Mister Miracle, Bloodstrike Brutalists, By Night, Oblivion Song, Neil Gaiman's Helblazer, Sandman, Howard Chaykin's The Shadow, Chester Brown's Little Man and The Weather Man Finally there's some Rekkymend from Gary Lactus of Liam Williams's Pls Like and The Beast Must Die has seen Black Panther. You're welcome.
SILENCE! #252
June 13, 2018 08:19 AM PDT
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COMPETITION TIME!!!

The first person to listen to this podcast, write a full blurb and show notes and send them to silencepodcast at gmail dot com will win FIVE GREAT BRITISH POUNDS in their paypal account.

EDIT! We have a winner! Thanks, Glenn Jacobs!

I don’t really know how to write a blurb in the inimitable SILENCE! house style so I’m going to forfeit my cash prize and just submit you some show notes instead. Hope these help. cheerio-bye.

9 00 The Prisoner by writer Peter Milligan and artist Colin Lorimer.

12 20 The Hellblazer #22 by Writter Tim Seeley and artist Davidé Fabbri.

13 55 The Hellblazer #1 by writer Jamie Delano and artist John Ridgway.

17 00 Transformers Collected Comics #3 by writer Steve Parkhouse and artist John Ridgway.

25 10 Fraser Geesin Is A Lot Of Help live clip. *EDIT* This is actually a clip of Gary Lactus years ago when he was in a band and the singer didn’t turn up so he ended up talking over some synths.

26 55 The Toys That Made Us (TV Series 2017).

35 50 A Walk Through Hell #1 by writer Garth Ennis and artist Goran Sudžuka.

39 00 Flayed Corpse and Other Stories by Josh Simmons.

44 30 Doom Patrol by writer Gerard Way and artist Nick Derington.

44 50 A duck.

48 40 Audience with Charles Forsman at Gosh Comics.

SILENCE! #251
Explicit
May 14, 2018 03:43 AM PDT
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THE FLOOR’S AN OCEAN AND THIS WAVE IS BREAKING

This podcast was completed three days ago and do you know what held it up? Writing this bloody blurb! Please submit your blurbs for future use via email so this sort of thing need never happen again.

It looks like SILENCE!#250 ushered in a bold new age for the pod pals as they once again piece together an episode at free moments in their very busy, extremely important lives. There was chat about The Fourth Of May With You, the burgeoning Evil Of The Minibeast, Bob Mortimer and Maria Bamford’s recent podcast appearances and the forthcoming shows by Fraser Geesin, Matt Banks and Dunce Tank. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started brings Avengers: Affinity Friends and Brawl in Cell Block 99.

Then from Outpost Reviewniverse we have The Prisoner, Legionnaires and Tales Designed To Thrizzle as read to Little Barry Lactus. The Free Comic Book Day offerings of James Bond, Tank Girl, Street Angel’s Dog, 2000AD Re-Gene, World’s Greatest Cartoonists and DC Nation. Finally, Batman, The Avengers, Eternity Girl and The One. Probably something else too but I’ve had it with writing this stupid blurb, time to set this pod free and watch it soar freely into the ears of our three or four listeners.

SILENCE! #250
Explicit
April 25, 2018 07:25 AM PDT
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YOU KNOW THEY DON’T GIVE A F*CK ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE

Well, it’s a right ruddy great anniversary for the SILENCE! boys innit? 250 years of podcasting! Not only that but they invented podcasting. And the internet – they invented that too. Did I mention listening? Yeah, they invented that. Invented the bloody lot they did. 250 years ago.

So why not join those two gentlemen, hellbent for leisure, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they invite you into the inner sanctum for some verite, fly-on-the-wall, dogme 95-style podcasting. Ot’s a 2.5 hr epic that will test your patience to the very hilt! And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Talked about are Marvel 2-in-1. The Immortal Men, Captain America 700, Legion, Xerxes, Oblivion Song, Eternity Girl, Megahex, Lockjaw, Walking Dead, Wonderful World of Tank Girl, Punk’s Not Dead, Tap-dance Killer, Action Comics 1000, and Highest House. All recorded in majestic ‘SIGHT ‘N” SMELL-ORAMA’!

AND PLUS The Beast and speshul gest-schtar Bobsy have a good old chinwag about Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

So checkitowtonetimewon’tyou?? And raise a glass to 250 glorious more years of the world’s premier lifestyle podcast…

(all together)

SILENCE!!!

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

SILENCE! #249
Explicit
March 27, 2018 05:42 AM PDT
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Hi there, this is Callum, I’m the new intern here at SILENCE! My first real task is to write a blurb for Gary and The Beast. I’ll try to do as good a job as I can because I love SILENCE! and the Mr. Die and Mr. Lactus have promised me a well paid job if I perform well. They’re great guys and are always joshing and laughing. They laughed loads when they told me about all the money I’ll be making here at SILENCE! after my 4 year apprenticeship comes to an end. So first we start with a song lyric.
I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT OH LORD
Hope they like that one, it’s one of my granpa’s faves.

Then it’s basically a list of the things they talked about in the episode but you have to make it interesting somehow as the blurb is the most important part of the podcast; everyone reads it and it’s really important. So, my brilliant bosses did a really great episode of SILENCE! this week. They did lots of really funny talking and are great guys. I liked it when they talked about sponsorship and the very exciting special 250th issue of SILENCE! which is just around the corner. I liked it when Mr. Die talked about Maria Bamford and Mr. Lactus talked about Daniel Kitson. Then I liked it when SILENCE! Because the Film Has Started with Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther and Lake Mungo

Then I liked it when The Reviewniverse with Mister Miracle and Ice Cream Man and Crawl Space and By This Shall You Know Him and Vampironica and Dry County and Tailgunner Jo then I liked it when it ended and then I went home for tea.

SILENCE! #248
Explicit
March 13, 2018 12:17 PM PDT
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THAT WAS PATROL, THIS IS THE WAR Listen, can you do me a favour? It would really help me out if you just imagined that there’s a really good blurb here. Something wry, funny and a bit surreal. Something to cause a smile to flicker across those cherry lips of yours? Becuase frankly I just don’t have the time today to put the necessary graft in. So it would really help me out if you could just cut me some slack this once, and just scrunch your eyes closed and just…imagine. Imagine that this is the blurb you’ve always dreamt of. It’s a SILENCE! And not just any old SILENCE! but a SILENCE! featuring your old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Come to drop a comics plopsy right in your tea. Admin, Dadmin, sponsorship and some honest to goodness SILENCE! News?? Right here effendi. Hot takes on the latest Rob Liefeld and Neil Gaiman announcements. Suddenly… THE REVIEWNIVERSE! Comics old and new are ingurgitated: World Without End, The Beef, Shade The Changing Woman, Ragman, The Highest House, Gideon Falls, Oblivion Song, The Spider King, Prism Stalker and more. Plus hot news about the John Higgins-painted Cronenbergian body-horror Batman comic that simply does not exist. @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #247
Explicit
February 28, 2018 12:08 AM PST
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AND I STILL LOVE THE GIRL FROM BENNINGTON This is it. We’ve worked for so many years to get to this. Years squirrelled away in the lab. Years banging our heads against a brick wall. Years when it all seemed so bleak..so utterly pointless. Great minds came and great minds went. Some cracked and crumbled under the awful weight of it all. I saw at least one certified genius snap and run screaming from the insurmountable, impassive wall of the task at hand. But yet still. Here we are. We brave few. Through sheer tenacious bloody-minded perseverance, we stand before you clutching this tiny vial. Inside this fragile glass container we have the essence…the pure distilled very essence of podcasting. If I take this pipette and draw out one tiny drop and… It’s only a right ruddy new epidose of SILENCE! It’s the life-style comics magazine for the discerning gad-about-town, with your smiling friends Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die here to steer your little ship into the cool calm waters of…podchat I Reckymend brings The Beast’s latest obsession, the horror podcasts Shockwaves and Killer POV Glad aboy admin? It’s gladmin! Take that gladmin with a spoonful of paternal responsibility and you have Dadmin! SILENCE!…Because The Telly is on brings us the new Tick series, the old animated Tick cartoon and Hannibal. The Reviewniverse reaches out through the mirror and pulls us back in with it. There’s some chat about Giffen & DeMatteis’ Justice League, Milk Wars, Spectacular Spiderman, and the We Told You So: The Story of Fantagraphics. More for sure, but I’m blowed if I can remember. Trust me though – all gold. Stick around for our greatest show-ending ever! CAN I GO NOW? @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.

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