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SILENCE! #267
Explicit
May 24, 2019 02:44 AM PDT
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I KNOW YOU WANNA HOLD MY HAND, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOVE MY BAND BEEEEEP Listen, I know you’re there, so pick up the phone. I can wait….Look I know you, I’ve been your agent for 20 years. I know when you’re ignoring me. Listen, they just need this blurb okay? Correction – they needed it yesterday. So just write the damn thing William Shakespeare! Get back to me. *CLICK* BEEEEEP ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE! COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE, GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB, WHATEVER! Just…it’s not that…hard. Just write me a god-damned blurb for this god-damned podcast! It’s not art! It’s not literature! But it pays the god damned bills and keeps the god damned light on. So please. For me. Pick up thy god damned quill, and write! Get back to me. *CLICK* BEEEEEEP I’m coming round. I’m bringing weapons… HOO HAH! It’s only a ruddy SILENCE! guv! Here to fondle your charlie browns and brighten up your day. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die have dug themselves up and are ready to talk comics, comics, comics! Adminge. Sponsorhitz. And ‘SILENCE! Because The Film Has Started…‘ with The Beast’s review of Ant Man & The Wasp and more importantly In Bed With Chris Needham. PISSCRIME! When Wakes The Reviewniverse? RIGHT NOW PUNX! Lotsa chat including Swamp Thing 60, League of Extraordinary Gentelemen: Tempest, Grave Horticulture, Demon by Jason Shiga, Eve Stranger, Immoral Hulk, Immortal Hulk, Hey Listen!, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and The Freshmen Force, Green Lantern, Hellblazer 40 and probably more. Oh and probably Game of Thrones. But more importantly The Shitpipe Chronicles. NEW FEATURE ALERT. The Beast Unboxes, featuring the thrilling sounds of a man opening packages in the toilet!! No more, greedy guts! @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #266
Explicit
April 30, 2019 05:21 AM PDT
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TURTLES HAVE SHORT LEGS, NOT FOR WALKING BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUURB! Oh look it’s another SILENCE! Or is it? Yes it is. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die mix background noise and prattle in a delicious, perfectly seasoned slow-cooked stew. Sponsorship! True Piss Crime! The Rule Of Three podcast on Leo Baxendale’s Willy The Kid! Black Summer! Admin! Something different in every spoonful! Tuck in! Come with us to Reviewniverse with Myfanwy Tristram’s Ladies Of The Lakes, Grave Horticulture, Animal Man, Rad Erwank and Conspiracy Dog, Batman: Venom, Batman: Proficiency, My Pretty Vampire and a proper good discussion of Kieron Gillen and Caspar Wijngaard’s Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt. Reckymends: Andrew Hickey’s A History Of Rock Music in Five Hundred Songs Shall we? @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #265
Explicit
April 19, 2019 02:09 AM PDT
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I’M JUST LIVING IN A LIFE WITHOUT MEANING. I JUST WALK AND WALK AND DO NOTHING Imagine a blurb, stamping on your comics. Forever. STOMP! Take that, you chromatic, fully painted, prestige format, limited edition, ashcan piece of sh*t! Are we having fun yet? It’s been a while but we’re back in style. well, not really. We’re just back. In a way we’ve sort of slunk in the back and tried to sit down without anyone noticing. SILENCE! What? We’ve always been here. Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die bringing you our usual mix of incompetence and insouciance – comics opinionating just the way you like it. Admin, Sponsorshiup? Yup! Discussion of Comics Crossovers as euphemisms for Toilet Breaks? Right here baby! Reviewniverse time! There’s a hefty discussion of Heroes in Crisis (Cry-sis more like amirite??) The Skrulls, Zack Soto’s ‘Secret Voice’, the 1989 Catwoman series, and a bunch more that I can’t remember cos it’s been so long since we recorded. Find out for yourself! Life’s like a box of chocolates apparently. Some reckymends? yeah probably @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like. (patreon.com/SILENCE)
SILENCE! #264
Explicit
March 15, 2019 09:26 AM PDT
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PUT A RED NOSE ON YOUR CONK AND LET’S STONK Imagine world. Go on, close your eyes, imagine a world. Come on, Imagine a world. A whole world. Quickly! COME ON! NO, NOT THAT WORLD, IT’S TOO MUCH LIKE THIS ONE! THINK OF A BETTER WORLD! Ah, forget it. No, don’t bother. Imagine a blurb. Okay? Good. Uncharacteristically scorchingly hot on the heels of SILENCE!#263 comes SILENCE!#264! Too much? Never enough? Never mind, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die remain consistently inconsistent. We hope you enjoyed the SILENCE! Special with Gareth A. Hopkins, pick up a copy of Petrichor here. BIG NEWS! We will be joining Al Kennedy for a special SILENCE! To Astonish Live! at the Glasgow Comic Con on June 29th. Come along and make it good! Not only that but The Beast Must Die will be exhibiting at the Leicester Horror Con! The Beast has a few choice words to say about Neil Gaiman’s Writing Masterclass and Lactus has a few random words regarding the experience of watching Ant Man and The Wasp on screens of various sizes. Mr. Die has also seen half of Ready Player One but I hardly think that’s enough for him to have formed an opinion about it. THINK AGAIN! Come with us to Reviewniverse, with The Female Furies, Doomsday Clock, X-Force, Captain Clyde, Emotional Data: Test Tube Sugar Baby, The Quiet Place, the Captain Marvel Movie and you of course! To see you out there’s some Dadmin regarding Hey Duggee (good) and Bing (anxiety inducing). Gary bemoans the ridiculousness of iTunes (please rate and review us) and The Beast recommends the Chart Music podcast. No more items, just listening. @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #263
Explicit
March 15, 2019 02:04 AM PDT
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I’VE GOT THIS BIRD’S EYE VIEW AND IT’S IN MY BRAIN Ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis lectus magna. Et magnis dis parturient montes nascetur ridiculus. Nisl suscipit adipiscing bibendum est ultricies integer. Euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies lacus sed. (What?) Id cursus metus aliquam eleifend. Elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Convallis a cras semper auctor. (WHAT?? How dare you! How dare you accuse me of phoning it in!) Venenatis tellus in metus vulputate eu. Lacus vel facilisis volutpat est velit egestas. (LOOK I REALLY RESENT YOU INSINUATING THAT I’M NOT TRYING WITH THIS BLURB! I always give it 100% you swine, and I won’t have my reputation besmirched. What do you mean am I still in bed? What’s that got to do with anything? Are you suggesting that I need to be in the office in my suit in order to write an appropriate blurb? Sorry pal, that’s not how ‘Le Muse’ works. Now shh. I’m composing) Porta lorem mollis aliquam ut porttitor leo. Felis bibendum ut tristique et egestas quis ipsum suspendisse ultrices… Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here to turn the world’s frown upside down. Or failing that, turn the world upside down so that frown feels better. It’s only another SILENCE! Admin, Admin, gertcha Admin! The Beast’s Newport Convention, Tom Oldham & Nat Metcalfe on Book Shambles, Seth Myers, The Movies That Made Me and sponsorschism…it’s all right here baby Let’s hot foot it into the Reviewniverse, and barring a #classic technical fuck up, the pals talk up Eagle Comic, Punisher 2099, Marshal Law Vs Pinhead, The London Comic Mart, Mr X, Alien Legion: Grimrod, Mike McMahon, Toxic, Armageddon 2001: Justice League Annual, Mark Hollis (RIP), The Green Lantern, The Terrifics, LOEG: The Tempest, Big Guy & Rusty The Boy Robot, and Mr X (slight return)…Phew? YOU’RE AN ITEM! @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #SPECIAL! GARETH! HOPKINS!
Explicit
March 12, 2019 07:22 AM PDT
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YOURS IS HOLLOW SOUNDING, FRANKLY YOU’VE BECOME SUCKERS

Alright pod-monkeys! I recorded a chat with the extremely talented comic creator, friend of the pod and all right super-mensch, Gareth Hopkins about his amazing new comic Petrichor. As it’s me, we’re out and about, so you get the aural delights of the Barbican as a background for our chat. Gareth was gracious, eloquent and honest so I hope you enjoy the chat.

Pick up a copy of Petrichor here.

Normal SILENCE! Service will resume shortly.

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

SILENCE! #262
Explicit
February 01, 2019 08:20 AM PST
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I KNOW YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN TOLD BUT LET ME SAY IT AGAIN, THINGS GET WORSE WHEN YOU GET OLD Hey! Listen up! You wanna blurb? ‘Course you do! Everyone loves a blurb and this, my friend, right here in this box, is a BLURB! Know what I mean? Not just any old blurb, I mean a BLUUURRRB! Yeah, NOW you’re interested! You wanna see the blurb before you take it? Sure, but I can’t show you here. If I get this blurb out in public and people see it, we’re gonna have a crowd form in seconds and that’s gonna be a problem. Say, why don’t you come down this dark alley and I’ll let you have a little looksee. Okay, come on… Here we go, let me just get the latch here… heh heh, it’s a bit sticky, hang on… THERE! FEAST YOUR EYES! What? Oh shit! Sorry, wrong box! That’s a turd i did in the shape of a cock and balls… Sorry about that. No, you can go, it’s fine, sorry. Sorry. It’s a very special SILENCE! with a palindromic number! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die quickly fail at podcasting only in palindromes. Great informal chat including some Carmin and some chat about Work Guns. The Family Beast’s visit to the zoo. ”Excitement” about the Titans show on Netflix The Reviewniverse sticks its tongue in your ear and in morse code, taps out some quality chat about Conan The Barbarian, Kid Eternity, Batman Vs. Grendel II, Marvel Comics Presents, Crypt of Shadows and A Copy of the Comics Journal which is a Vertigo Special and it’s from 1992 so of course The Beast Must Die wants to talk about it. Backmin, Outmin, Whateveryoulikemin in the form of The Beast telling you all about Alan Clarke’s Elephant (more harrowing than and unrelated to The Beast’s visit to the zoo) in a bit of SILENCE! (Because The Film’s Started). Let’s make SILENCE! pal, Simon Russell’s comics dreams come true by funding his The Marriage of Njord & Skadi Kickstarter. TUCK IN! @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #261
Explicit
January 17, 2019 10:51 AM PST
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LIFE I LOVE YOU, ALL IS GROOVY Listen can you do me a favour? I just need to nip out for a bit…no not for long. I’ll be real quick. I wouldn’t ask, but it’s actually really, really important that I go. Yeah. No, I honestly wouldn’t ask unless…y’know. Important, that’s right. You will? Oh mate that’s brilliant…honestly you don’t know what a favour this is. So I just need you to just literally sit here and do nothing till I get back. Yeah, I’ll be so, so quick I promise. Ok, so just like…just sit there, that’s right. Yup, just there. And that’s it! Till I get back. Okay? Ok cool. ..oh wait, there is just one other thing. If anyone turns up asking about a blurb, can you just whip something up? Ok great. BOOOOOOOOOOM> NEW YEAR NEW DANGER! It’s only Bloody SILENCE! coming up on 2019 like a masked intruder! Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here and brimming with new year’s resolve. And you’re going to get it, with barrels. Hot comics pottage, in that wily old SILENCE! fashion. AND IT”S NEARLY THREE HOURS LONG YOU TW@S!! Bit of post-XMAS admin? Why not. As if anyone gives a rat’s chuff about that anymore! Probably some Dadmin, some sponsorships and a bit of chat about Adventures in the January comics sales. Big chunk of Sadmin about the recent passing of Mega City One architect Ron Smith. Gary talks about the Raymond Briggs Snowman exhibition, The Beast wants to tell you all about the Charles Schultz ‘Peanuts’ exhibitionat Somerset House, and he also NEEDS to tell you all about Penda’s Fen too, in SILENCE! (Because the Film Has Started). Have you heard that Gary Lactus Prunes? No, Well listen up… The Reviewniverse uncurls it’s sticky paw and reveals some top quality chat about League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Fantastic Four Wonderful Wonderful Wedding Comix, Klaus: The Crying Snowman, Lodger, DIE, Justice League Europe,  GoBots, Thirteenth Floor and probably some other stuff that both of us have forgotten. BONUSSSSSS! There’a a meaty chat with Tom Oldham of Breakdown Press, talking about Joe Kessler’s Windowpane, Jon Chandler’s John’s Worth (1-4), Beserker and a whole lot more, including some quality Todd McFarlane chat. WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR SWEETHEARTS? YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER??? @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like. This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE’S COMICS of Brighton. It’s also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comicsof London.
SILENCE! #260 (2018 Christmas Special)
Explicit
December 19, 2018 04:18 AM PST
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THERE’S A BOX FULL OF SHOWER-GELS, I’VE LEFT AROUND THE WORLD It’s SILENCE!, there’s no need to be afraid At SILENCE!, we let in light and we banish shade And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy Throw your arms around the world at SILENCE! But say a prayer, pray for the other ones At SILENCE! it’s hard, but when you’re having fun There’s a world outside your window And it’s a world of dread and fear Where the only water flowing Is the bitter sting of tears And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you And there won’t be snow in Africa this SILENCE! The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life Where nothing ever grows No rain nor rivers flow Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all? Here’s to you Raise a glass for everyone Here’s to them Underneath that burning sun Do they know it’s SILENCE! at all? Eat the world Eat the world Eat! the world Let them know it’s SILENCE! again Eat! the world Let them know it’s SILENCE! again Eat! the world Let them know it’s SILENCE! again Eat! the world Let them know it’s SILENCE! again Eat! the world Let them know it’s SILENCE! again INSERT FESTIVE! It’s the SILENCE! XMAS DING-DONG CRACKErJACK SPECTACULAR! AND YOU’RE ALL INVITED! Lock the door…they’re in now. Well we’re all feeling very festive indeed aren’t we? Yes we are. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not there can be no uncertainty that the geese are gaining weight. So put a Yule log on the radiator and cosy up for 2+ hours of comics-adjacent chat with your pals The Beast Must Die and Gary Lactus! Inside this overstuffed figgy pudding of an episode you’re going to find the following: The Christmas Chronicles, The Immortal Hulk, Enjoyable Conversations in Glasgow bu David Kerr, Hard Boiled, Safari Honeymoon, 2000AD prog 2111, Best of lists, My Two Dads 600, Bat-Thing, Driving Britain, Secret Cosmic Heroes of Infinite Crisis…of the Gods, Doomsday Cock and a whole lot more Who is…what is…The House of Ideas??   @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
SILENCE! #259
Explicit
December 10, 2018 07:02 AM PST
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Comics? Do they still make those? Why?! Can a comic get you from A to B without having to rub up against the scum on public transport? Can a comic beep increasingly faster as you reverse towards a stationary object? Can a comic cruise down the open road as you listen to some quality tunes (or Magic FM, what’s the difference?)? Can you make love to a beautiful/willing woman in the backseat of a comic? Tell you what, if you can convince me that a comic will somehow get all the bloody cyclists off my roads then I might be interested! Until then the only way I’d ever possibly be interested in a comic is if it was filling some of the pot holes on our roads these days what on earth do I pay my road tax for you could’t make it up!

Let’s drive!

Here’s SILENCE! #459. I, Gary Lactus have passed my driving test and spend much of this episode burning rubber in The Beast Must Die’s stupid, carless face! Once the dust settles there’s some prolonged pre-comics chat about Mandy, Deconstructed with Mehdi Hassan and some other stuff I can’t remember because I wasn’t listening, I was too busy browsing driving gloves online.

Then there’s the Reviewniverse in which there are reviews, passing mentions or something inbetweens of The Green Lantern, Shuri, Fantastic Four, Jeff Hawke, Go-Bots, Titan Editions in general including James Bond and a very special review of Darren Cullen’s Mini Daily Mail (find out more HERE)

@silencepod
@bobsymindless
@frasergeesin
@thebeastmustdie

silencepodcast@gmail.com

You can support us using Patreon if you like.

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