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June 13, 2018 08:19 AM PDT
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The first person to listen to this podcast, write a full blurb and show notes and send them to silencepodcast at gmail dot com will win FIVE GREAT BRITISH POUNDS in their paypal account.

EDIT! We have a winner! Thanks, Glenn Jacobs!

I don’t really know how to write a blurb in the inimitable SILENCE! house style so I’m going to forfeit my cash prize and just submit you some show notes instead. Hope these help. cheerio-bye.

9 00 The Prisoner by writer Peter Milligan and artist Colin Lorimer.

12 20 The Hellblazer #22 by Writter Tim Seeley and artist Davidé Fabbri.

13 55 The Hellblazer #1 by writer Jamie Delano and artist John Ridgway.

17 00 Transformers Collected Comics #3 by writer Steve Parkhouse and artist John Ridgway.

25 10 Fraser Geesin Is A Lot Of Help live clip. *EDIT* This is actually a clip of Gary Lactus years ago when he was in a band and the singer didn’t turn up so he ended up talking over some synths.

26 55 The Toys That Made Us (TV Series 2017).

35 50 A Walk Through Hell #1 by writer Garth Ennis and artist Goran Sudžuka.

39 00 Flayed Corpse and Other Stories by Josh Simmons.

44 30 Doom Patrol by writer Gerard Way and artist Nick Derington.

44 50 A duck.

48 40 Audience with Charles Forsman at Gosh Comics.

May 14, 2018 03:43 AM PDT
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This podcast was completed three days ago and do you know what held it up? Writing this bloody blurb! Please submit your blurbs for future use via email so this sort of thing need never happen again.

It looks like SILENCE!#250 ushered in a bold new age for the pod pals as they once again piece together an episode at free moments in their very busy, extremely important lives. There was chat about The Fourth Of May With You, the burgeoning Evil Of The Minibeast, Bob Mortimer and Maria Bamford’s recent podcast appearances and the forthcoming shows by Fraser Geesin, Matt Banks and Dunce Tank. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started brings Avengers: Affinity Friends and Brawl in Cell Block 99.

Then from Outpost Reviewniverse we have The Prisoner, Legionnaires and Tales Designed To Thrizzle as read to Little Barry Lactus. The Free Comic Book Day offerings of James Bond, Tank Girl, Street Angel’s Dog, 2000AD Re-Gene, World’s Greatest Cartoonists and DC Nation. Finally, Batman, The Avengers, Eternity Girl and The One. Probably something else too but I’ve had it with writing this stupid blurb, time to set this pod free and watch it soar freely into the ears of our three or four listeners.

April 25, 2018 07:25 AM PDT
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Well, it’s a right ruddy great anniversary for the SILENCE! boys innit? 250 years of podcasting! Not only that but they invented podcasting. And the internet – they invented that too. Did I mention listening? Yeah, they invented that. Invented the bloody lot they did. 250 years ago.

So why not join those two gentlemen, hellbent for leisure, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die as they invite you into the inner sanctum for some verite, fly-on-the-wall, dogme 95-style podcasting. Ot’s a 2.5 hr epic that will test your patience to the very hilt! And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Talked about are Marvel 2-in-1. The Immortal Men, Captain America 700, Legion, Xerxes, Oblivion Song, Eternity Girl, Megahex, Lockjaw, Walking Dead, Wonderful World of Tank Girl, Punk’s Not Dead, Tap-dance Killer, Action Comics 1000, and Highest House. All recorded in majestic ‘SIGHT ‘N” SMELL-ORAMA’!

AND PLUS The Beast and speshul gest-schtar Bobsy have a good old chinwag about Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

So checkitowtonetimewon’tyou?? And raise a glass to 250 glorious more years of the world’s premier lifestyle podcast…

(all together)




You can support us using Patreon if you like.

March 27, 2018 05:42 AM PDT
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Hi there, this is Callum, I’m the new intern here at SILENCE! My first real task is to write a blurb for Gary and The Beast. I’ll try to do as good a job as I can because I love SILENCE! and the Mr. Die and Mr. Lactus have promised me a well paid job if I perform well. They’re great guys and are always joshing and laughing. They laughed loads when they told me about all the money I’ll be making here at SILENCE! after my 4 year apprenticeship comes to an end. So first we start with a song lyric.
Hope they like that one, it’s one of my granpa’s faves.

Then it’s basically a list of the things they talked about in the episode but you have to make it interesting somehow as the blurb is the most important part of the podcast; everyone reads it and it’s really important. So, my brilliant bosses did a really great episode of SILENCE! this week. They did lots of really funny talking and are great guys. I liked it when they talked about sponsorship and the very exciting special 250th issue of SILENCE! which is just around the corner. I liked it when Mr. Die talked about Maria Bamford and Mr. Lactus talked about Daniel Kitson. Then I liked it when SILENCE! Because the Film Has Started with Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther and Lake Mungo

Then I liked it when The Reviewniverse with Mister Miracle and Ice Cream Man and Crawl Space and By This Shall You Know Him and Vampironica and Dry County and Tailgunner Jo then I liked it when it ended and then I went home for tea.

March 13, 2018 12:17 PM PDT
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THAT WAS PATROL, THIS IS THE WAR Listen, can you do me a favour? It would really help me out if you just imagined that there’s a really good blurb here. Something wry, funny and a bit surreal. Something to cause a smile to flicker across those cherry lips of yours? Becuase frankly I just don’t have the time today to put the necessary graft in. So it would really help me out if you could just cut me some slack this once, and just scrunch your eyes closed and just…imagine. Imagine that this is the blurb you’ve always dreamt of. It’s a SILENCE! And not just any old SILENCE! but a SILENCE! featuring your old pals Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die. Come to drop a comics plopsy right in your tea. Admin, Dadmin, sponsorship and some honest to goodness SILENCE! News?? Right here effendi. Hot takes on the latest Rob Liefeld and Neil Gaiman announcements. Suddenly… THE REVIEWNIVERSE! Comics old and new are ingurgitated: World Without End, The Beef, Shade The Changing Woman, Ragman, The Highest House, Gideon Falls, Oblivion Song, The Spider King, Prism Stalker and more. Plus hot news about the John Higgins-painted Cronenbergian body-horror Batman comic that simply does not exist. @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
February 28, 2018 12:08 AM PST
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AND I STILL LOVE THE GIRL FROM BENNINGTON This is it. We’ve worked for so many years to get to this. Years squirrelled away in the lab. Years banging our heads against a brick wall. Years when it all seemed so bleak..so utterly pointless. Great minds came and great minds went. Some cracked and crumbled under the awful weight of it all. I saw at least one certified genius snap and run screaming from the insurmountable, impassive wall of the task at hand. But yet still. Here we are. We brave few. Through sheer tenacious bloody-minded perseverance, we stand before you clutching this tiny vial. Inside this fragile glass container we have the essence…the pure distilled very essence of podcasting. If I take this pipette and draw out one tiny drop and… It’s only a right ruddy new epidose of SILENCE! It’s the life-style comics magazine for the discerning gad-about-town, with your smiling friends Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die here to steer your little ship into the cool calm waters of…podchat I Reckymend brings The Beast’s latest obsession, the horror podcasts Shockwaves and Killer POV Glad aboy admin? It’s gladmin! Take that gladmin with a spoonful of paternal responsibility and you have Dadmin! SILENCE!…Because The Telly is on brings us the new Tick series, the old animated Tick cartoon and Hannibal. The Reviewniverse reaches out through the mirror and pulls us back in with it. There’s some chat about Giffen & DeMatteis’ Justice League, Milk Wars, Spectacular Spiderman, and the We Told You So: The Story of Fantagraphics. More for sure, but I’m blowed if I can remember. Trust me though – all gold. Stick around for our greatest show-ending ever! CAN I GO NOW? @silencepod @bobsymindless @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
February 12, 2018 02:38 PM PST
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The year is 2099.
Jokesss! It’s 2 0 1 8 and we are 10 tears old, or maybe just six tears, the way man counts these things
It doesn’t matter. Here we fester yet. Dry your eyes because it’s SILENCE! #246 missus and Beast is having a break to look after the Mini-Beast or whatever so this week it’s a bobsy week where he and Gary get well comfy and COCKS OUT in the cosmic cupboard.
Clever blurb? Do one you poncey nonce
SO they start by letting Ole Aimless out of the bag (comicsgate and oh no no no, the 2000AD SciFi Special, the Big Sick + Trash for Cash Wednesday) and then handclasp it into the reviewniverse where they get busy with the books of the week:
IN roughly the order they were discussed, skipping fans: Twisted Romance, The Beautiful Death, Atlas & Axis, Grave Horticulture, VS, Wicked & Divine 1923, Batman: Metal, Batman: White Knight, MILK WARS, Doomsday Cock, The Amazing Fruit of the Future, JUstice League: Film


You can support us using Patreon if you like.

January 31, 2018 06:30 AM PST
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The year is 2099.

Blurbs have been outlawed by the totalitarian US government.

Luckily we’re not in America so it’s fine.

Welcome to another sodding episode of SILENCE! your heroes Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are here with their unique brand of jealousy inducing chat from their aspirational lives.

After we celebrate The Beast Must Die’s Birthday they discuss anxiety dreams which look like they might be coming true. There’s some chat about the now dead Mark E Smith which segues into a moving song about music called Music Song. SILENCE! Because The Film’s Started this week actually has something to do with the nominal point of the podcast, comics as Beasty done watched The Image Revolution.

The Reviewniverse revels in Doom Patrol, Days Of Hate, BatMan: Creature Of The Night, more Atlas Comics, LIFE Brigade, Frank Miller’s Tales To Offend, Tainted, Dissonance, Valerian and the City Of A Thousand Planets, Vinegar Teeth, Legion, The Further Adventures of Nick Wilson, Assassinistas and Tales Designed to Thrizzle

That’ll do, surely.

January 16, 2018 01:12 AM PST
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BUT DON’T DESPAIR, THIS DAY WILL BE THEIR DAMNEDEST DAY Nah, nah. Nope. Nu-uh. No way. Noooooooo sirreeeee. Nup. No-ew. Nein, Not in the slightest. No thanks. Nup. Not feeling this blurb today. No. It’s a magical week boys and girls! A special week. A SILENCE! week! And Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die are here to build a city of comics for you to all live in. Look I’m not even going to mess around – this is some seriously digressive ish. I mean…do these boys really think that this is anyway to run a podcast? Oh well – once more unto the breach… Some cursory sponsorship, some in-depth discussion of Jamie Oliver and Sunday Brunch, and a bit of Dadmin. Then The Beast ushers in another ker-lassic episode of SILENCE!…Because the Film Has Started talking about Coherence, The Autopsy of Jane Doe and Kong of Skull Island. Dragging their heels, the sadsack pair find themselves in the snowy wastes of the Anti-Reviewniverse! Then normal service resumes and they hit the Reviewniverse. ‘Discussed’ are Sooner or Later, Deadline, Jamie Hewlett, Nick Abadzis’ Dream Logic, Skidmarks by Ilya, Tundra, Tales From The Hyperverse, Hastings, Mister Miracle, 2000AD Christmas special, and somehow more. Jeez that’ll do won’t it? @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.
January 04, 2018 03:52 AM PST
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BY THE TIME WE GOT TO OSLO, THE SNOW WAS GONE My New Year’s Resolution: 1) Write better blurbs Ok…let’s… Ok. No wait. Here we go…no. Wait. I GOT IT! It’s… No hold on. Ummm. Ok. Scrap that. Can I make a different resolution. My New Year’s Resolution (Take 2): 1) Quit this blurb-writing gig and get a real job. It’s a new day, it’s a new year, it’s a new life…and I’m feeling POD! It’s the first SILENCE! Of 2018 and it arrives wearing a top hat, spats and little else! Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die bring you a timely festive edition to warm your coals. HO HO HO (sshhhhh). Seasonal sponsorship, Christmas admin and standard festive cheer? All here. Presents are compared and there’s some chat about Judge Dredd Complete Case Files v29, 2000AD Sci-Fi specials, Misty, The Gosh Comics 50% Sale, Ian Miller’s Swamp Thing and the wonderful Paperbacks From Hell.. Head to the Reviewniverse with your giddy hosts as they talk the light fantastic about The Leopard from Lime St, Klaus: The Crisis In Xmasville, Doom Patrol, Shade The Changing Girl, Parasdiso, Mister Miracle, X-Men: Grand Design, Jack Kirby’s 2001, Assassinistas and probably something I’ve forgotten. Yule be sorry! HA @silencepod @frasergeesin @thebeastmustdie @bobsymindless @kellykanayama silencepodcast@gmail.com You can support us using Patreon if you like.

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